barkley on the barbie

Sir Charles too tough on Kobe

BY JASON WHITLOCK

Knight Ridder Newspapers

LOS ANGELES - Man, I figured Charles Barkley could play the dozens, talk a little smack. The way Barkley spent all NBA season blasting Kobe Bryant, I just assumed the Round Mound would know how to respond when someone served him a little bit of what he dishes nightly on TNT's wonderful pre- and postgame show "Inside the NBA."

So I was shocked when I heard Barkley immediately go into fat-joke retorts on the Dan Patrick radio show Wednesday in response to the barbs I slung his way earlier this week on ESPN's "Jim Rome is Burning."

"Dan, it's funny, what's my man, Jabba the Hut, has been killing me the last couple of days," Barkley told Patrick, who was caught totally by surprise.

"Who's Jabba the Hut?" Patrick asked.

"Jason Whitlock," Barkley responded. "He's been killing me all week, like I've got a vendetta against Kobe. It's just funny how people, he said I called Kobe a chicken, and I said that's not exactly what happened. See, and that was really unfair."

Seriously, I was expecting better from Barkley. I've been out in LA all week, surrounded by Lakers and (bandwagon) Clippers fans, so I started paying close attention to the NBA playoffs. The Lakers-Suns series was marvelous. I was on the brink of becoming an authentic, unapologetic Kobe Bryant fan.

The only thing really standing in my way - besides Kobe's propensity to do very childish things - was the fact that Barkley, my favorite television commentator, constantly bags on Bryant. Well, by game six, after Kobe dropped 50 points in an overtime loss, I'd had enough of Barkley's bashing. Sir Charles said Kobe should've passed the ball to Smush Parker at the end of regulation and said Kobe's 20-of-35 shooting sabotaged the Lakers' chances of beating the Suns.

Absolutely insane. And then on Saturday, I watched Kobe refuse to shoot the ball in the second half of LA's game-seven loss, and I immediately assumed Barkley's criticism had gotten into Kobe's head and was affecting Kobe's decision-making. Kobe wanted to show his critics _Barkley - he could be unselfish.

Barkley, of course, then ripped Kobe for pouting and being "selfish" by not shooting the ball.

I'd heard enough. Yes, I'm a Shaq fan. Yes, I think Barkley is brilliant on television. But what Barkley was doing to Kobe was really unfair. Barkley's opinions on the NBA are the most influential in the game. People laugh at his jokes and self-deprecation, but they also take his opinions (on basketball) very seriously.

Barkley's seasonlong Kobe griping, in my opinion, cost Kobe MVP votes. He finished fourth in the voting and should've finished no worse than second.

So I went on "Rome is Burning" with the intention of serving Barkley a humorous helping of humble pie. I lit into Barkley for being Michael Jordan's Arsenio Hall, the comedian and talk-show host best known for being Eddie Murphy's best friend. I said Charlesenio's NBA commentary is stated with the express purpose of making sure Jordan knows Barkley is a better friend than Jordan's other sidekick, Charles Oakley.

I questioned Barkley's basketball intellect. How could he suggest Kobe pass to Smush Parker - a marginal NBA player at best who was also locked in a horrible shooting slump - for the game-winning shot in a playoff contest?

Barkley's attacks on Kobe seemed personal, a product of Charlesenio's affinity for Jordan, the man Kobe is most often compared to.

Monday night on TNT, Barkley started backpedaling, calling Kobe the league's best player and revealing that Kobe had sent him 20 angry, profanity-laced text messages.

I couldn't ignore this bit of news. So on Tuesday's "Rome is Burning" I tore into Barkley (and Kobe) again. There was no way I could ignore two grown, NBA multimillionaires exchanging angry text messages like high school girls. This was just too much. I figured I'd step in and try to unite Kobe and Barkley by giving them a common enemy.

It worked, to some degree. Barkley is now angry with me, Jabba the Whitlock, and he's now one of Kobe's biggest supporters.

"You know what's really funny?" Barkley asked Patrick on Wednesday. "Man, I've said all year that Kobe Bryant is the best basketball player in the world. I criticize him one time, and people go crazy, but hey, man, I'm gonna say what I gotta say....

"There's no way in good conscience you can leave Kobe Bryant off of your top-five MVP ballots."

And there's no way you can blame Kobe for the Lakers losing to the Suns. Only Barkley could do that. But I guess I'm more surprised that Barkley can't play the dozens, can't handle a little good-natured ribbing. Maybe Charlesenio only lets Michael talk to him that way.