a full-blown global crisis

Survivors tell their tales

December 30, 2004

Guardian Unlimited

The web is being filled with survivors' stories, of which a few were highlighted in today's paper.

They are all different, and from any number of angles; many write of the horror of the waves striking, of the huge problems facing those who managed to escape the waters, or simply of their bewilderment at their very survival...

Rick Von Feldt was in Phuket, Thailand when the waves hit, and has emailed to point us in the direction of his weblog documenting events since, along with a picture gallery showing the aftermath.

His site also pointed me in the direction of Kevin Sites' weblog. This is one you may remember from last month, when Sites took that disturbing footage of a US Marine shooting dead a badly injured Iraqi, and then posted an emotional account of the circumstances surrounding the film which was subsequently reprinted in the Guardian. Sites has now relocated to Thailand, and has filed a dispatch from there, illustrated with his own photographs.

Terry Collins, an expat living in Indonesia, is also keeping watch, and is reflecting a little of the anger at the faintly low-key response from the US and UK governments, and absurdity of some of the media reaction. "Whilst the red and white flies at half mast throughout Indonesia there is indifference, if not downright callousness elsewhere," he writes on Jakartass.

But perhaps the saddest site I've visited today is javajive, written by another expat who has been waiting on news of friends in Phuket. At the time of writing this post he's still waiting, although a commenter on his blog tells of their heartbreak at losing a number of their family to the disaster.

Perhaps the most heart-rending aspect of the site is the pictures of playing children he's posted, taken only a couple of days before disaster struck. The question one is left asking after seeing them is barely worth repeating. An image grabbed from local TV further down his front page (with caution - it may upset some readers) tempts you to fear the very worst.

Finally, over the last few days there's been some thought-provoking analysis over at Worldchanging.com, a green weblog where they're already looking to the future; what (if anything) can be done to prevent such a disaster happening again, and most interestingly, what changes could be made for the good in the aftermath. Alex Steffen sums the site's attitude up when he writes:

"This might not seem like the time to look ahead. The situation all around the Indian Ocean is grim: the bulldozers are digging mass-graves for as many as 100,000 bodies; at least a million people are homeless, hungry and utterly destitute; clean water and sanitation facilities don't exist; disease is beginning to break out; and relief is still far off for too, too many people. This is a full-blown global crisis. But this is exactly the right time for foresight.

Posted by Neil McIntosh at December 30, 2004 07:05 PM

of recklessness and water

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
turned around backwards so the windshield shows
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse
Still, it's so much clearer
I forgot my shirt at the water's edge
The moon is low tonight

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked
These things, they go away,
replaced by everyday

Nightswimming, remembering that night
September's coming soon
I'm pining for the moon
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
could not describe nightswimming

You, I thought I knew you
You I cannot judge
You, I thought you knew me,
this one laughing quietly underneath my breath
Nightswimming

The photograph reflects,
every streetlight a reminder
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night

Cox Bay, Vancouver Island - January 18, 2003
photos by latenights

holiday gossip filler blues

BECKINSALE HIT BY PICKPOCKETS TWICE IN TWO DAYS

British actress Kate Beckinsale was targetted by pickpockets twice in two days during Christmas shopping trips in London earlier this week.

The beautiful star first fell victim to a sly thief on Monday between the time she left her limousine with husband Len Wiseman and when she went to pay for gifts in plush department store Harrods.

An insider says, "Kate and Lenny spent a few hours browsing. But when they got to the till they realized they had been stung. It was a disaster, they had no way to pay.

"It was a real panic because they had left all their Christmas shopping to the last minute. They borrowed money from friends to make sure there would be presents under the tree on Christmas morning."

Beckinsale was next touched by crime when she returned to the store with her personal assistant, who had her purse stolen at some point during the visit.

The insider adds, "Kate and Lenny can't believe their bad luck. You never expect something like that to happen two days running."

ANDERSON AND DORFF SMOOCH ON A BEACH

Former "Baywatch" beauty Pamela Anderson has been photographed passionately kissing actor Stephen Dorff, quashing reports she's dating a model.

Anderson, 37, had been linked with Christian Monzon but recently surprised onlookers by smooching "Blade" star Dorff on a Malibu, Calif., beach.

One says, "It wasn't long before Pammy stripped off and Dorff couldn't keep his eyes off her body."

A friend of the hunk adds, "They have a lot in common. This could be the start of something special."

WIFE AND MOTHER BATTLE OVER RAMONE ESTATE

Late punk icon Johnny Ramone's estate has become the focus of a battle between his widow Linda Cummings and mother Stella Cummings.

The former Ramones star -- real name John Cummings -- died on September 15 in Los Angeles of prostate cancer. He was 55.

In an interview with American website Page Six, Stella claims her famous son promised her $2,500 a month, but she believes Linda convinced the rocker to leave her out of his will.

Stella laments, "I think she got him to change the will when he was sick, but I don't have any proof.

"It's been one big nightmare for me. Two weeks before my son passed away, he said, 'Linda will send you a check every week.'

"I haven't received a penny from her. And she's used foul language to me. It's disgusting. She said, 'You'll never get a penny of this money.' It's not her money, it's my son's money. She can't give me something to survive on?"

Supermarket cashier Stella was distraught when Linda failed to notify her the date of Johnny's cremation service.

Stella continues, "That's my son! And I was close to my son. I was never told about it."

Linda responds, "Everyone always leaves everything to their wife. Her son made every decision, and everyone who knew Johnny Ramone knows that. No one ever told him anything. She wasn't left anything in the will. That was her son's choice, not mine.

"She has every bit of information from my estate lawyer to her estate lawyer. If she can't accept his decision, that's her problem. It's very sad that she called a newspaper about this. Johnny was such a private person and I know he's looking down at her and saying, 'This is disgraceful.' It is really despicable and disgusting to do this to him. It's my money and Johnny's money."

JOLIE'S SUPERBIKE

Actress Angelina Jolie has bought a new $20,000 superbike.

The British-based "Tomb Raider" star agreed a deal on the handmade Italian 750cc MV Agusta Brutale after giving it a test ride at an airfield in Kent, England.

A source at showroom Red Dog Motorcycles says, "Everyone was shocked when Angelina came in.

"But she was really down to earth and knows what she's talking about with bikes. She was thrilled with it."

TWAIN: 'MY WEALTH IS A BURDEN'

Country star Shania Twain hates the trappings of her success, and wishes she was impoverished instead.

The sexy singer has made millions from an ultra-successful solo career -- reportedly $57 million from concert ticket sales this year alone -- but she sees the money she makes as a burden.

Twain explains, "Money is a burden. All anybody needs is enough to eat and have a roof over their heads.

"Any more than that is a stress. My son is going to have money, and he's going to be stressed."

DRUG COMPANIES WARN EMPLOYEES OF MOORE

Michael Moore's latest plan to expose the inner workings of America's health-care system has prompted at least six drug companies to warn their employees to watch out for the director.

The firms fear that while shooting "Sicko," Moore will attempt to stage ambush interviews, a technique which he has used in the past for his film and television work.

Stephen Lederer, a spokesman for Pfizer Global Research and Development, says, "We ran a story in our online newspaper saying Moore is embarking on a documentary -- and if you see a scruffy guy in a baseball cap, you'll know who it is."

Other companies, such as GlaxoSmithKiline and AstraZeneca have also instructed employees not to answer questions posed by Moore, but to redirect them to each company's communications department.

Rachel Bloom, executive director of corporate communications for AstraZeneca, notes, "Moore's past work has been marked by negativity, so we can only assume ('Sicko') won't be a fair and balanced portrayal. His movies resemble docudramas more than documentaries."

But Moore feels the movie, which is expected to be released in 2006, will strike a common chord with the American public.

He explains, "Being screwed by your (health-care provider) and ill-served by pharmaceutical companies is the shared American experience."

TURLINGTON PLANNING MORE KIDS

Supermodel Christy Turnlington is already planning more babies with actor husband Ed Burns, just two months after giving birth to their first child, daughter Grace.

The catwalk queen is so taken with motherhood, she can't wait to get pregnant again -- and wants another three kids.

Turlington says, "More children are definitely on the agenda.

"I'd like to fit in as many as I can. I always said more than one, less than five. Four would be perfect -- if you have three there would always be one who was left out.

"Being a mom is even better than I hoped it would be. Everyone says this, but it really is a feeling you can't possibly understand until you experience it. It's amazing."

GRANT'S SEXY PRESENT FOR BELLE

Hugh Grant has bought a special Christmas gift for his girlfriend Jemima Khan -- sexy underwear worth $570.

The pair have been dating since Khan divorced ex-husband, cricketer-turned-politician Imran Khan earlier this year -- and Grant clearly wants to mark their first Christmas together.

He was spotted shopping for the lingerie in a London shop yesterday, by an onlooker who says, "He was trying to hide his face so he couldn't be recognized, but all he did was draw more attention to himself.

"He was very thorough though, and examined every piece of underwear in the shop.

"In the end, he chose a black vest with a matching thong and several pairs of dark blue lacy G-strings."

STEWART FELT 'FOOLED' WHEN HUNTER LEFT HIM

Veteran rocker Rod Stewart was devastated when his ex-wife Rachel Hunter left him after nine years of marriage, but thinks he deserved it.

The singer, a well-known ladies man, felt "fooled" because he believed he would spend the rest of his life with Hunter.

Stewart says, "It hurt because -- and I'm not blaming her -- I was a silly [bleep] and I should have known. I was 45 and she was 21 (when we started dating).

"It hurt because this was the woman I was going to pledge the rest of my life to. I felt like I'd been fooled, but at the same time there was a sneaky feeling that the old man up there's got you back."

Stewart thinks he deserved his heartbreak because he left previous loves Kelly Emberg and Alana Hamilton, both of whom bore him children.

He says, "I sometimes have guilt pangs about being in two relationships where children were involved that I walked out of.

"Then karma got me back because Rachel left me, so all is square now."

MINOGUE TO PLAY EXCLUSIVE RUSSIAN GIG TOMORROW

Pop superstar Kylie Minogue will play a private concert for Russian oil barons on Christmas Day, and she'll receive $950,000 for her trouble.

The singer will travel to Moscow with her band and backing dancers for the festive bash.

A source says, "Although it is Christmas it was just too much money to turn down for one gig. The party is for the cream of Russian society."

STEFANI: 'I'M NO MOVIE STAR'

No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani wants it to be made clear that she isn't a movie star following her debut in Martin Scorsese's "The Aviator."

Stefani insists she will remain primarily a singer, although she is keen to continue her recently launched solo career.

And she dislikes all the attention lavished on her for her role as legendary actress Jean Harlow in "The Aviator," because she is only onscreen for a few minutes.

Stefani says, "I'm not a movie star. It's almost embarrassing talking about a movie that I'm only in for a couple of minutes. It's like, don't blink or you'll miss me.

"Leo(nardo DiCaprio) and the rest are the stars and I'm just lucky enough to have a moment in it playing Jean Harlow -- a real Hollywood legend.

"I've been trying to do films for years, but it's hard to find the right roles. I would love to get to a position where I was known for my acting as much as my singing."

JOLIE'S SANTA SILENCE

Hollywood star Angelina Jolie's young son Maddox won't be waiting for Santa Claus tonight -- the actress has banned Father Christmas.

The brunette beauty celebrates Yuletide every year, but refuses to join fellow parents by claiming the fictional festive gift-bearer and his reindeer will climb down Maddox's chimney.

Jolie says, "I don't want to tell him Santa Claus exists when he doesn't. I don't know about the Easter Bunny, either."

just ain't what it used to be

Christmas Eve of Destruction

Maureen Dowd, Op-Ed Columnist
The New York Times
December 23, 2004

In Iraq, as Yogi Berra would say, the future ain't what it used to be.

Now that the election's over, our leaders think it's safe to experiment with a little candor.

President Bush has finally acknowledged that the Iraqis can't hack it as far as securing their own country, which means, of course, that America has no exit strategy for its troops, who will soon number 150,000.

News organizations led with the story, even though the president was only saying something that everybody has known to be true for a year. The White House's policy on Iraq has gone from a total charade to a limited modified hangout.

Mr. Bush is conceding the obvious, that the Iraqi security forces aren't perfect, so he doesn't have to concede the truth: that Iraq is now so dire no one knows how or when we can get out.

If this fiasco ever made sense to anybody, it doesn't any more.

John McCain, who lent his considerable credibility to Mr. Bush during the campaign and vouched for the president and his war, now concedes that he has no confidence in Donald Rumsfeld.

And Rummy admitted yesterday that his feelings got hurt when people accused him of being insensitive to the fact that he arrogantly sent his troops into a sinkhole of carnage - a vicious, persistent insurgency - without the proper armor, equipment, backup or preparation.

The subdued defense chief further admitted that despite all the American kids who gave their lives in Mosul on the cusp of Christmas, battling an enemy they can't see in a war fought over weapons that didn't exist, we're not heading toward the democratic halcyon Mr. Bush promised.

"I think looking for a peaceful Iraq after the elections would be a mistake," Mr. Rumsfeld said.

His disgraceful admission that his condolence letters to the families of soldiers killed in Iraq were signed by machine - "I have directed that in the future I sign each letter," he said in a Strangelovian statement - is redolent of the myopia that has led to the dystopia.

The Bushies are betting a lot on the January election, even though a Shiite-dominated government will further alienate the Sunnis - and even though Iraq may be run by an Iranian-influenced ayatollah. That would mean that Iraq would have a leadership legitimized by us to hate us.

International election observers say it's too dangerous to actually come in and monitor the vote in person; they're going to "assess" the vote from the safety of Amman, Jordan. Isn't that like refereeing a football game while sitting in a downtown bar?

The administration hopes that once the Iraqis understand they have their own government, that will be a turning point and they will realize their country is worth fighting for. But this is the latest in a long list of turning points that turn out to be cul-de-sacs.

From the capture of Saddam to the departure of Paul Bremer and the assault on Falluja, there have been many false horizons for peace.

The U.S. military can't even protect our troops when they're eating lunch in a supposedly secure space - even after the Mosul base commanders had been warned of a "Beirut-style" attack three weeks before - because the Iraqi security forces and support staff have been infiltrated by insurgency spies.

Each milestone, each thing that is supposed to enable us to get some traction and change the basic dynamic in Iraq, comes and goes without the security getting any better. The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that a major U.S. contractor, Contrack International Inc., had dropped out of the multibillion-dollar effort to rebuild Iraq, "raising new worries about the country's growing violence and its effect on reconstruction."

The Bush crowd thought it could get in, get out, scare the Iranians and Syrians, and remove the bulk of our forces within several months.

But now we're in, and it's the allies, contractors and election watchdogs who want out.

Aside from his scintilla of candor, Mr. Bush is still not leveling with us. As he said at his press conference on Monday, "the enemies of freedom" know that "a democratic Iraq will be a decisive blow to their ambitions because free people will never choose to live in tyranny."

They may choose to live in a theocracy, though.

Americans did.

-30-

Email: liberties@nytimes.com

kill all the white man art

whoop! there he is!

Raptor to rapture: the Vinsanity begins

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
BY DAVE D'ALESSANDRO
New Jersey Star-Ledger Staff

--EXCERPT--

"It's a new start. I'm going to make a lot of people eat their words when it's time. Don't be my friend later. Keep it like it is. If you hate me now, hate me later. I don't mind. My job is to go out there and play and bring another aspect to New Jersey Nets basketball. ...

"I'm still pinching myself just to say, 'Hey, look what it says on my chest now.'"

In a more candid assessment, however, he admitted the divorce from the Raptors -- the team he carried for six years, before becoming little more than trade bait this season -- was more important than the actual destination.

"It was time for Vince Carter, the person, to be rejuvenated," he said. "There was so much stuff going on, so much talk, my body just needed a jolt. Once it all settled in, I was like, 'Hey, here it is.'"

VINCE WON'T FLARE UP

The New York Post
December 21, 2004
by Fred Kerber

FORT MILL, S.C. — Vince Carter couldn't believe all the fuss and didn't want to comment. So, naturally, he commented. The newest Net refused to let reports he "tipped off" the Sonics about an impending Raptors' play last month spoil the excitement of a fresh NBA start with the Nets.

"I'm not going to really get caught up in that, I don't know what the motive is behind it, if there is one, they can't spoil my excitement of a new start. I don't know what it's all about. It's ridiculous. It's stupid," Carter said. "I just say, children will play."

And Nets coach Lawrence Frank followed suit calling all the attention "grossly, grossly overblown." A report surfaced Sunday that at the end of a game last month in Seattle, Carter, with Toronto, told the Sonics his team was running "a flare, a flare." Toronto, down seven at the time, scored on the play.

what is it good for?

Poll: Most Americans Think Iraq War Not Worth Fighting

Over Half Think Rumsfeld Should be Replaced

By Christopher Muste
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, December 20, 2004; 5:01 PM

Most Americans now believe the war with Iraq was not worth fighting and more than half want to fire embattled Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, the chief architect of that conflict, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll.

The survey found that 56 percent of the country now believes that the cost of the conflict in Iraq outweighs the benefits, while 42 percent disagreed. It marked the first time since the war began that a clear majority of Americans have judged the war to have been a mistake.

Barely a third of the country approves of the job that Rumsfeld is doing as defense secretary, and 52 percent said President Bush should sack Rumsfeld, a view shared by a big majority of Democrats and political independents.

Still, nearly six in 10 -- 58 percent -- said the United States should keep its military forces in Iraq rather than withdraw them, a proportion that has not changed in seven months.

The political fallout over the continuing bloody chaos in Iraq clearly is taking its toll on President Bush, who today strongly defended Rumsfeld in a press conference. Bush's overall job approval stood at 48 percent while 49 percent disapproved of his performance as president. Nearly six in 10 -- 57 percent -- say they disapprove of the way the president has handled the situation in Iraq.

Six in 10 Americans also say they believe that next month's presidential elections in Iraq should be held as scheduled but expressed broad pessimism about the outcome. A 54 percent majority said they doubted that the elections will be honest and the votes counted accurately. And an identical proportion said they were not confident that the voting will produce a stable government that will rule Iraq effectively.

A total of 1,004 randomly selected Americans were interviewed Dec. 16 to 19. Margin of sampling error for the overall results is plus or minus 3 percentage points.

-30-

spot on brilliant filmmaking

If you see one film this weekend, do yourself an enormous favour and rent THE STATION AGENT. I watched it last night and it knocked me arse off the couch.

The Station Agent (2003) is an amazing film from rookie writer/director Tom McCarthy about a man who inherits an abandoned train station and, hoping to find solitude, discovers the thing he wanted least - neighbours.

Starring Peter Dinklage, Bobby Cannavale, Patricia Clarkson and Michelle Williams - top drawer.

Film Links

The Station Agent (official site)
Miramax Films - The Station Agent (trailer)

NYT reader review

Six Stars, Actually
August 20, 2004
Reviewer: edfou5

"I'd easily give this film six stars if I could. On every level - performances, camerawork, sound, music, locations and sets, lighting, script, direction, casting - this is easily the finest film I've seen in ten years, with the most noble characteristics of the best French cinema. I was genuinely moved by it, it's stayed with me for days. As the credits rolled, I didn't want to say goodbye to these characters, and I never feel that way. As to previous reviews, no, it's not a comedy, that's just how movies like this get categorized by brainless marketers and video store managers. And yes, the librarian is played by a crushingly beautiful actress, but that actress delivers a performance that transcends her physical beauty - as corny as it sounds she transmits the character's innocence and charm and inner beauty with memorable effect. Really an unforgettable, joyous, somewhat haunting film that any serious film junkie has to see. Fail to catch it and you're really, really missing something very unique."

Spot on, edfou5! So what are y'all waiting for? Mosey down to your local vid shop before you end up watching back-to-back episodes of COPS tonight. Tell 'em Wig sent ya.

I'd love to recommend Cabaret Balkan too, Richard but I can't... because I can't find the fucking thing on DVD!

P.S. Patricia Clarkson (above), aside from her substantial acting creds, is a freakin' hottie, man. At age 45, she's a sizzler in this film. You might recognize her from HBO's Six Feet Under too; she plays Ruth's younger sister Sarah:

"God, there's so much emotion to navigate where family is concerned... Vicodin, anyone?" LOL

Tonight I'm watchin' The Manchurian Candidate (1962):

"Director-producer John Frankenheimer's prophetically tragic, chilling, brilliant, blackish (film-noirish) Cold War thriller about brain-washing, conspiracy, the dangers of international Communism, McCarthyism, assassination, and political intrigue. Laurence Harvey is brilliant as a brainwashed Korean war hero who has been programmed as a Soviet sleeper/mole agent to assassinate a Presidential candidate. It can be categorized within many film genres - it functions as a horror film, a war film, a science fiction film, a black comedy, a suspense-thriller, and a political melodrama (with additional segments of romance and action).

The mood of this pseudo-documentary, satirical film masterpiece (from prolific veteran television director Frankenheimer) is paranoic, surrealistic, dark, macabre, cynical, and foreboding - these elements are combined in a traditional, top-notch suspenseful thriller framework with a nail-biting, Alfred Hitchcock-like climax. The movie displays the emerging role and importance of television in broadcasting public affairs and shaping opinion, and the circus atmosphere that surrounds American politics."

Sweeet - thx Greg ; - )

hey hey get off of my sand

US Isn't Winning Against Iraqi Insurgents, Agencies Warn

by Warren P. Strobel, John Walcott and Jonathan S. Landay

Published on Saturday, December 18, 2004 by Knight-Ridder

WASHINGTON - The CIA, the Defense Intelligence Agency and the State Department have warned President Bush that the United States and its Iraqi allies aren't winning the battle against Iraqi insurgents who are trying to derail the country's Jan. 30 elections, according to administration officials.

The officials, who agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity because intelligence estimates are classified, said the battle in Iraq wasn't lost and that successful elections might yet be held next month.

But they said the warnings -including one delivered this week to Bush by CIA Director Porter Goss - indicated that U.S. forces hadn't been able to stop the insurgents' intimidation of Iraqi voters, candidates and others who want to participate in the elections.

"We don't have an answer to the intimidation," one senior official said.

Nor have the United States and interim Iraqi government been able to find any divisions they can exploit to divide and conquer the Sunni Muslim insurgency, the intelligence reports say.

Full story here...

roll out the welcome, mats fans

PAUL WESTERBERG & HIS ONLY FRIENDS

THE FABULOUS COMMODORE BALLROOM
THURSDAY FEB 17/05 - DRS 8 SHOW 9
TIX $30 PLUS SHITE @ TICKETBASTARD

There will be no opening act for this event. Show starts at 9:00pm sharp. Yeah, right. Be sure and tell that to Pablo.

pretty slim chance of recovery

"Vince said it to me that sometimes we just need a chance of scenery," rookie Raptors GM Rob Babcock told reporters. "And this is probably a situation where it's the best thing for Vince and the best thing for us."

Earlier this month, the NBA said Carter's No. 15 jersey ranked No. 17 in sales at the NBA official store in New York and on the NBA.com website. Good luck, Sir Wince-A-Lot!

--

Which Vince Carter will the Nets get?

Dec. 17, 2004
By Tony Mejia
SportsLine.com Staff Writer

They say Canadians are, for the most part, very friendly, patient people. The fans in New Jersey and Brooklyn -- the Nets' future home -- well, let's just say they aren't. How well do you think Carter's petulance will be received there, particularly if he's always hurt?

mmmm... superpolymodelmeals

Eat 'supermodels' to protect heart: experts

December 17, 2004
By Alison McCook

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Eating meals that include all ingredients known to improve cardiovascular health could add years to life, according to new study findings released Friday.

According to an international group of experts' calculations, if men age 50 and older added almonds, garlic and other heart-healthy ingredients to their daily diets, they might increase their life expectancy by more than 6 years, and spend more time free of cardiovascular disease.

Among women, following the same recipe after age 50 could tack on almost 5 extra years of life, the authors report in the British Medical Journal.

They call their recommended diet the "Polymeal," playing off the "Polypill" idea, which got a lot of attention last year, of giving everyone a combination pill to prevent heart disease.

The Polymeal includes ingredients that research has consistently shown can decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease. The menu includes wine, fish, dark chocolate, fruits, vegetables, garlic and almonds.

All ingredients must be consumed daily in the recommended amounts, except for fish, which research suggests should be eaten four times per week.

To investigate which ingredients to include in the Polymeal, Dr. Oscar H. Franco and his colleagues combed medical reports investigating the influence of different foods on the health of the heart and blood vessels.

Previous research has shown that drinking 150 milliliters of wine every day can reduce cardiovascular disease by 32 percent, while eating fish four times per week cuts the risk of disease by 14 percent.

Treating yourself to 100 grams of dark chocolate every day appears to reduce systolic blood pressure -- the top number in a blood pressure reading -- by 5 units, and the bottom blood pressure number by almost 2 units, which research suggests may reduce the risk of cardiovascular problems by 20 percent.

Consuming 400 grams of fruits and vegetables does as good a job of reducing blood pressure as dark chocolate, while research shows that both garlic and almonds lower cholesterol, an important factor in protecting people from cardiovascular problems.

Based on calculations using mathematical models, Franco and his colleagues estimate that people who combine these ingredients into Polymeals may have a 76 percent lower risk of cardiovascular problems, and spend many extra years of life with healthy hearts and blood vessels.

Franco, who is based at the University Medical Center in Rotterdam, The Netherlands, told Reuters Health he hopes that this research encourages people to "focus more on eating a healthy diet as a good means to reduce their heart disease."

SOURCE: British Medical Journal, December 18/25, 2004 ; - )

fun at your local factory

I love old, abandoned buildings. They make great places to check out, hang out. And take pictures. Lots of pictures.

Jeremy Winkworth took these amazing shots of the Allied Paper Mill in Kalamazoo, Michigan a couple years ago. Built in the 1890s, the mill was abandoned in 1998.

Now, I understand that industrial strength photography isn't going to appeal to everyone. But I beseech* thee, see thee how many images ye can sift thru before ye...

a) get bored
b) are suitably unimpressed
c) have to go to bed

Press keyboard F11 tab to view photos in full screen mode (highly recommended). Play spot the humour and...

* Win a factory-worn cap from my hall closet!

hooked on a hoffling

This afternoon I victimized a goodly number of peeps with a special holiday greeting, so I thought I'd share it with you too. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time...

Spirit of the Speedo Season (via email):

- "LOL, but yuck!"

- "FYI. There's a blow-up doll version at a shop on Granville if you're interested."

- "omg.. Colin. that about killed what little was left of my Christmas spirit."

- "OMG - that's soooooooooooooooo funny (and gross) - but really funny!!!!! Merry Christmas to you too!"

- "you are one sick and twisted individual!"

- "I have to tell you that one of my clients had a Hoff poster hanging in his apt - sweet gay guy - he is kinda hot in a cute kinda way!"

- "that is so fucked up"

- "well there goes my appetite - thanks for the diet tip!!"

- "HE needs a wax bad - not a bad wax"

- "Gets you into the holiday spirit - yah! Let's have a pint!"

- "just how many times do I have to fucking tell you?"

The party's on

The feelings here

It's all because

This time of year

sniffing too many elk pelts

Canada Goes To Hell

Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care? What's next, free porn and candy?

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Did you hear the screams? Did you feel the menacing chill? Did you see the black and ominous clouds, moving north?

Did you sense, in other words, the very presence of Satan himself as he laughed maniacally and tossed around bucketfuls of ultrathin condoms and little travel-size packets of Astroglide like confetti while riding his Harley Softail up to Toronto or maybe Edmonton to join the ghastly and sodomitic celebrations?

Because it's happened. Canada's high court just ruled that the government can, if it so desires, redefine marriage to include gay couples, which it has declared it will do almost immediately, thus solidifying Canada's place as the chilly yet mellow and gay friendly and hockey-riffic epicenter of all known hell.

It's true. It's rather amazing. Gay marriage will be completely legal in Canada very soon. It's been oddly ignored in much of the U.S. media and hasn't really been much discussed among those in the terrified red states except when, deep in the night, from their respective lumpy twin beds, they whisper to each other across the room as they pop their Ambien and stroke their portfolios and curse their very genitals: oh my God what's wrong with those freakin' Canadians?

I mean (they continue), I thought they loved red meat and brutish sports and manly hunting. Are they all just freaks and perverts now? Have they been sniffing too many elk pelts? Is it something in the clean and plentiful water up there? Something to do with those weird French-esque people in Quebec, maybe?

I knew we should've been paying more attention to that border! Didn't I say so, honey? Didn't I say we should keep an eye on those northern weirdos after they dissed the Iraq war and legalized medical pot and sort of went about their happy and calm Canadian business whilst we here in panicky red-blooded America chewed our own karmic legs off in a paranoid and jingoistic rage? Hippies and perverts, I said! Save a few bombs for Ontario, George, I say!

Let us now do the naughty math: Canada has roughly 32 million inhabitants, of whom about 75 percent are over 18, of whom it can be loosely estimated that anywhere from 2 to 8 percent are gay (depends, of course, on who you ask).

All of which translates into a ballpark figure of anywhere from 1 million to 2 million gay Canadians of legal marrying age who will now eagerly laugh and kiss in the streets and confound poor reactionary born-again George W. Bush, and they will flash their wedding rings at parties and annoy all the single people, all while proving for the umpteenth time that love knows no gender limitations or legal restrictions and will trump your whiny sanctimonious religious puling any given Sunday. Heathens!

It's getting more confusing by the minute, isn't it? I mean, Canada now has legal medical pot and legal gay marriage and universal health care and no known terrorist enemies and a relatively successful multiparty political system. They also have, according to U.N.'s Human Development Index, one of the highest qualities of life in the world. All coupled with a dramatically reduced rate of gun violence and far better gun-control legislation than the U.S., despite having the exact same per capita rate of gun ownership and gun-sport enthusiasm.

What the hell? How is this possible? Why aren't they scared to death like whiny red-state Americans? Why don't they want to kill each other along with anything that might threaten their access to televised hockey and cheap beer and yummy poutine?

Aren't they aware of what's happening in the world? Don't they know they are openly hated for their freedoms and their cafés and their vinegared french fries? Aren't they human, fer Chrissakes? Oh, red states. How confused and irritated you must be.

After all, unlike the U.S., Canada backed the Kyoto Treaty (along with 165 other heathen nations). They also spend more per capita on education and less on health-care overhead than the U.S. They have a $10 billion federal surplus, a new record. They are not, as of yet, abusing the hell out of their vast natural resources (freshwater, huge forests, oil and natural gas, mineral deposits, etc.) and embarrassing themselves on a global scale every single day and making a mockery of their constitution or their citizens' civil liberties. What the hell is wrong with them?

Yes yes, I know, Canada's universal health care is flawed and not always of the best quality, and a great many Canadians think their prime minister is a bit of a schmuck and they hate paying taxes and of course they can be all profitable and progressive when they don't have a massive bogus unwinnable war to pay for, one run by a ravenous and fiscally idiotic federal government, and they only have one-tenth of our population and one-fiftieth of our desperate consumeristic gluttony. They have it easy, right?

Remember, Canada is boring. Canada is rarely in the news. Canada has no massive belching socioeconomic engine like America does, what with our NASCAR and Hollywood and Fox News and bad porn and the absolute best medical care on the planet despite how only a tiny fraction of us have access to it while the rest languish in bloated abusive HMOs and poverty and disease and 40 percent of us have no access to health care whatsoever. Take that, Canada! Oh wait.

We hate gays and love guns and think pot is evil but hand out Prozac and Zoloft like Chiclets. Meanwhile (as "Bowling for Columbine" so beautifully illuminated), Canadians leave their doors unlocked and don't feature violence and death on every newscast and still value community and diversity and discussion over solipsism and protectionism and a general hatred of foreigners and the French. See? We rule! Oh wait.

All of which makes you wonder: how many more countries will it take? How many more nations will have to, for example, prove that gun licensing works, or that gay-marriage legislation is a moral imperative, or that health care for all is mandatory for a nation's well being, before America finally looks at itself and says, whoa, damn, we are so silly and small and wrong? Is there any number large enough? After the announcement that gay Chinese and gay Russians may legally marry and grow lovely gardens of marijuana as they all get free dental care, will America remain terrified of nipples and queers?

Canadians. So mellow. So laid back. So gay. So not producing any truly superlative modern-rock music or ultraviolent buddy-cop movies and not actively siccing Wal-Mart or Starbucks or Paris Hilton on the rest of the world like a goddamn cancer. They're just so ... nice. And boring. And calm. And solid. And friendly.

And they simply beat us senseless on the whole open-minded, progressive thing. Kicked our flag-wavin' butts. Trounced our egomaniacal self-righteous selves and made the red states look even more foolish and backward than the whole world already knows them to be.

They did it. Canada made the whole gay marriage issue look effortless and obvious and healthy, and a massive black rain of hellfire did not pour down upon them and the very idea of hetero marriage did not immediately explode and their economy did not unravel like all the sneering cardinals and right-wing nutballs screamed it would. We must ask, one last time: what the hell is wrong with them?

Oh wait. Maybe we should rephrase. What the hell, we should be asking, is wrong with us?

-30-

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SFGate columnist Mark Morford's irreverent and highly satiric take on world news, events, the pope, sex, dogs, and liquid cheese products. Deeply skewed, dangerously funny. Legal in 48 states. May contain strong language, irony, deadpan humor, and occasional pointed remarks about the NRA, the NBA, the Catholic church, and liquid cheese products. Not suitable for anyone who loves pleated khakis, pink wine, or Meg Ryan movies.

everybody loves a parade

Rich walk ever taller in Canada

Linda McQuaig
Toronto Star
Sunday, December 12, 2004. 01:00 AM

The C. D. Howe Institute recently set up a "Tax Competitiveness Centre" to recommend far-reaching tax reforms. That spells trouble for most Canadians.

Unless you're a rich investor, hold onto your wallet. Whenever the business-funded institute starts poking around in the tax system, it finds lots of things to change — mostly for the benefit of the rich.

That means the rest of us end up paying more taxes, or face cuts to social programs or benefits.

With the federal government trying to decide what to do with a surplus of $9 billion, the institute has been full of ideas.

Its latest — advocated by Jack Mintz, head of its new Tax Competitiveness Centre — is strikingly similar to one favoured by the Bush administration:

Lift the tax burden entirely off income from investments and place the full tax burden on income from labour.

Not surprisingly, this idea is wildly popular among investors, who make up the bulk of C.D. Howe members.

Of course, these investors represent only a tiny proportion of Canada's taxpayers. But they tend to be highly effective at getting their way.

They've been particularly effective in the last few decades, as the power of labour has declined and the power of corporations and investors has risen sharply.

Rich Canadians have benefited enormously.

According to calculations by McMaster University economist Michael Veall, the top-earning 1 per cent of Canadians have almost doubled their share of the national income — from 7.6 per cent in 1980 to 13.6 per cent in 2000.

Osgoode Hall law professor Neil Brooks says the top-earning Canadians haven't enjoyed such a large share of Canada's national income since the 1920s and 1930s, a time when Canada was often regarded as a plutocracy (that is, a society ruled by the wealthy).

"Canada is once again at risk of becoming a plutocracy," says Brooks.

But mere statistics about inequality can suck the real-life drama out of the story.

So Dutch statistician Jan Pen came up with a more vivid way to illustrate inequality, by presenting the national distribution of income as a one-hour parade in which everyone in the country marches and everyone's size is determined by his or her income. The bigger the income, the taller the marcher.

Here's what Canada's parade looks like:

For the first six minutes, the marchers are so small, it's hard to see them. With average family incomes of about $10,000, they stand only about one foot tall. The marchers get gradually taller.

When we reach the midpoint of the parade, they measure about 5 foot, 6 inches, with an income of $55,000 — the median Canadian family income.

After that, the marchers continue to increase gradually in height until the last few minutes, when they shoot up dramatically to heights of 16, 17, 18 feet and more.

By the last few seconds, we see some extraordinary giants, such as John Hunkin, chairman of CIBC, with an income of $13.8 million, measuring almost 1,380 feet high, and auto parts magnate Frank Stronach, father of Belinda, with an income of $53.5 million, measuring just over a mile high!

But this parade only measures inequality of income. The more meaningful measure is inequality of wealth — that is, financial assets.

So here's the same parade of Canadians, but this time with their height measured in wealth, not income.

This time, the parade has been going for about 10 minutes before we even realize it's begun — because those at the front aren't just tiny, they're actually underground. (They own nothing of value and are net debtors).

At about 20 minutes, we see people the size of dwarfs, until the midpoint of the parade, where marchers stand 5 foot 6 inches, with net wealth of $81,000.

The rest of this parade progresses much like the income parade, until the end, when we encounter even more colossal giants.

With less than one-tenth of a second to go, some of Canada's wealthiest men stride past.

There's Ted Rogers, with assets of $1.7 billion, standing 21 miles high, and Galen Weston, with assets of $9.7 billion, stretching up a full 121 miles. Finally, bringing up the rear, is Canada's richest man, Ken Thomson, with $21.6 billion — towering a breathtaking 272 miles above us.

Ironically, one of the positions at the Tax Competitiveness Centre is named after major donor George Weston Ltd., the company headed by Galen Weston, Canada's second richest man.

If the centre gets its way, the tax burden will get a little lighter on Galen Weston and on others with their heads above the clouds, even as it falls a little heavier on those down here at ground level.

Linda McQuaig is a Toronto-based author and commentator.

smoke it, spritz it, watch it grow

In its Nov. 22 issue, The New Yorker magazine generously gave over its back page to an Application for Permanent Canadian Residence that seems to have been written back when Dief and JFK were misguiding our nations.

The good news is that the confusing old form has been replaced by new version, drastically simplified for U.S. applicants. The Government of Canada apologizes profusely for the confusion even though it wasn’t our screw up (the New Yorker's fact-checkers really should have caught it).

Just circle the number beside the statement that you feel best applies to your point of view:

Same sex marriage:

1. is obviously a constitutional right
2. seems okay to me but gets everyone so upset so maybe we should just focus on less controversial matters
3. is fine for lesbians (heh-heh) and if they cheat a little, I don't mind neither
4. is goddamn terrorism in the bedrooms of the nation

The United Nations:

1. is an international forum to promote global peace, health and cultural understanding
2. is not the most interesting tourist destination in New York, especially for the children
3. is a toilet-shaped tax suckhole
4. starts blubberin' whenever one of our boys spanks at goddamn terrorist

Medicare is:

1. a democratic way to provide equal access to health for all citizens
2. a nice idea but where are the funds going to come from when the baby boomers start kicking it?
3. most efficiently guaranteed by the private sector
4. a terrorist scheme cooked up by gay commie doctors

Obesity is:

1. the nation's No. 1 health concern
2. not only a health issue but a difficult moral issue, especially for the children
3. a priviledge, right and honour for those who work hard
4. a big fuck-you to all those goddamn scrawny terrorists who want us to turn into holler-eyed boneracks like them

A draft dodger is:

1. someone who, for reasons of conscience, prefers to live on foreign soil rather than die on it
2. likely to introduce cappuccino and other innovations to hinterland communities where they'll eventually become real estate czars
3. skilled at skipping out on his Bud bill
4. a goddamn commie

Marijuana is:

1. a excellent plant that makes me feel good whether I smoke it, spritz it or just watch it grow
2. a potential government cash cow, although I worry about the children
3. a lawless county in California
4. that Chilean fella that Kissinger shot because the bastard was trying to turn the country into some kind of goddamn terrorist I-don’t-know-what-the-hell-what.

Social Security:

1. provides basic financial stability to the less fortunate and aged
2. fine for old baby boomers but not lazy people
3. comes in many calibres
4. used to be run by that Tom Ridge fella, who might have been the only guy in the entire government that actually looked he could hold his liquor, but now it's that little runt from ---. You want to tell me how the hell he's going to keep those goddamn commie terrorists from tellin' us where we can and can't drill for fucking oil?

Jesus:

1. preached a gospel of love, tolerance and forgiveness
2. healed the sick, knew great tricks, big wine lover, gave amazing dinner parties — and no one appreciated it!
3. despised taxes
4. threw the first rock at those goddamn Iraqi commies, that's how the whole thing got started

Environmentalism:

1. is us fighting for our lives
2. must be balanced with revenue considerations
3. is another name for dope growing
4. Okay, goddamn it, I'm not even going to fucking get into it

Beef:

1. belongs on a cow, not in your mouth
2. is best with a California Cabernet-Sauvignon, not that sour French Burgundy
3. exports from Canada should remain illegal, the end.
4. Hell, a porterhouse ain't gonna kill ya even if the goddamn terrorists pumped the cow fulla BSE

How to calculate your score:

Get out your calculator. Punch in the numbers that you circled and don't forget to put the + sign between each one! Press the = button. What number is on the screen?

10 - 15, you might enjoy Saskatchewan, Quebec and some farflung West Coast island communities

16 - 25, you'll love Gordon Campbell's B.C. or any other places run by Liberals

26 - 35, keep your ass in the Heartland

36 - 40, Texas or Alberta, your choice

--

thx kindly for this, Buffalo Tim ; - )